My Story: The Time I Let Fear Beat Me
I sat in the parking lot and watched through the windows. Everyone looked festive in their holiday sweaters, and the drinks were flowing. The event was an after-work holiday mixer for the Chamber of Commerce. I was a new member and had sent in my RSVP, and I was looking forward to it.
I found myself unable to muster the courage to step out of my car and join the event. Doubts flooded my mind—I didn’t belong, I had nothing to contribute. Stuck in that moment of self-doubt, I remained in my car, unable to take that crucial step forward.
Frustration and disappointment consumed me.
It took me weeks to get the courage to go back, but I did. Here are the ways that I have learned to flex that courage muscle.
The Need for Courage, Not Confidence
I have served over 200 women in my business in the last three years. The one thing that I hear over and over is, “I want to be more confident.” I will argue with you and tell you that you don’t need confidence; you need courage, friend. Start here…
1. Find a Friend to Go With You
This will get you in the door, and once you’ve been to one meeting, you can do it again on your own. But it sure is nice to have backup that first time. It would have saved me from my parking lot situation. When I moved to a new state, I had to attend lots of events on my own, and it definitely became easier.
2. Be Prepared
Know the address and start time. Little things like that will stop you when you are on your way out the door. The less friction you have, the better.
3. Share Your Plans
Tell people you are going, this will hold you accountable (remember to be safe and post after you are home or the next day).
4. Give Yourself a Challenge
The first time you attend a meeting, you only have to talk to the ambassador. That’s it. When you have talked to them, you can leave. This is low-hanging fruit because it’s their job to talk to you. The second time you go, you can increase your challenge: talk to three people, then leave!
The Value of Networking
I never regret pushing myself to meet new people. The best use of my time and money is spent connecting with other women. Another thing I find super valuable is the feedback loop. This is the reaction you get when you post to social media, but it can also be when you tell someone about your business. What feedback do you get? Are you getting a dead stare or a confused look, or are you getting an excited response? This is all information that determines if your messaging is spot on or needs tweaking.
Overcoming Networking Fears
There may be panic sweat, and there may be nervous talking, but I bet you won’t sit in the car like I did on my first networking attempt. I now find it so much easier. I had to take that first step, and it almost didn’t happen. Just a few minutes of courage will get you in the door.
Say Yes to Hard Things
I hope you go into the holiday season saying YES to events that challenge you. Do you have any parties that are already making you nervous? Hit reply, I would love to hear about it.
